Bailey
Thirsty U sure loved its parties.
Lights and music blared out of the houses along fraternity row as Seb and I walked down the sidewalk.
“This is gonna be awesome,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “I’m going to meet the girl of my dreams tonight, man. I can feel it.”
I rolled my eyes. “So, the girl of your dreams is a drunk sorority girl?”
He laughed. “Yeah, man. How else would I get her to notice me? I’ll wow her with my mad drinking game skills.”
I shook my head. “It’s not too late to head over to the rec hall instead. Play a couple games of pool and not wake up with a terrible hangover.”
“Dude, I’m not playing pool with you ever again. You robbed me blind.”
“I tried to warn you.”
He snorted. “Sure, but unlike everyone else here, you weren’t just posturing like a jackass. How was I supposed to know that?”
“I don’t posture.”
“Well, I know that now,” Seb said with a laugh, slinging his arm around my neck. “But you owe me, man. So we’re going to this party, whether you like it or not.”
I didn’t owe him anything. I’d taken twenty bucks off him, and that was a lot in broke college kid funds, but I’d also bought him coffee twice. But Sebastian insisted that his pride had taken a lot more damage than his wallet. And my roommate was nothing if not dramatic. He was going to make me pay as long as he could.
“I don’t know, Seb. It’s not really my scene.”
“Nothing is your scene but pool tables and cars,” he said dismissively. “There’s more to college than that.”
“You mean, like class? Good idea. I should go study.”
He laughed. “Don’t bullshit me. You hate studying as much as I do.”
Well, that was true. I could never stand to read the textbook. Give me a hands-on project, no matter how hard, and I’d focus in and get that shit done. But reading dry, boring explanations? Couldn’t do it.
I was making it through class with the help of YouTube demonstrations that could put my lessons into a different context for me. But it wasn’t foolproof.
“Come on, Bailey,” Seb said. “I can’t go in there without a wingman. You know what happened last time.”
Last time, he’d hit on a girl with a huge-ass frat boyfriend who’d tossed him bodily out of the house. He’d thrown up all over himself and had to limp home on a twisted ankle.
“You really don’t know how to hold your liquor,” I said.
“That’s why I need you,” he insisted. “We’re roommates, man. If you don’t come in, who knows what will happen? You’ll have to pick up the pieces again. Do you want that?”
I wrinkled my nose, thinking of that night when he’d woken me with the smell of vomit and desperation. “Yeah, no, we can’t have that.”
He grinned. “Then come on. It’ll be fun!”
I already knew as we started up the walkway, weaving around clusters of students sucking on vape pens, talking shit, and in one case, sloppily making out, that it was going to be anything but fun.
It’d taken only one party for me to realize that the people at Thurston University really weren’t my people. Their biggest worries in the world seemed to be where to find the next beer and who they were going to hook up with. Classes and grades were an afterthought compared to the dating drama.
I’d tried to talk to a few people, but I couldn’t relate to their complaints about the allowance their parents were giving them or the fact they couldn’t buy the new pair of designer jeans they wanted.
We were all the same age, more or less, but they were so childish. Had I ever in my life been so oblivious to the world around me? It’s like they didn’t even understand that not everyone was as fortunate as them.
Or maybe they just didn’t care.
I didn’t blong here. Not like them. I tried to appreciate it because I knew it was a privilege to attend a four-year university. A privilege my brothers never got.
“Come on,” Seb called over the blaring music as we pushed through the door and started across a living room already littered with plastic cups of beer. “Let’s get you a beer before you glare a hole in the wall.”
The furniture has been pushed to the edges of the room. Some awkward dry humping was happening to a heavy bass beat. Two guys were wrestling next to the couch, with a small crowd of onlookers laughing and jeering.
We ran the gauntlet—but not without beer getting sloshed over my shoulder—and squeezed through a kitchen cluttered with bodies hunching over snacks like they were golem with his precious ring.
The cafeteria food wasn’t great, though, so I couldn’t really blame them. I snagged a handful of Flaming Hot Cheetos as we walked by.
“I don’t know how you eat that crap,” Seb said.
“Like your nasty Sour Patch Kids are better.”
“They are! Ask anyone!” He grabbed a random dude by the arm. “Are Sour Patch Kids not the shit?”
“Um, I guess,” he said, turning back to the girl he’d been chatting up.
I snorted. “Ringing endorsement.”
“Whatever, you’re just a sore loser,” he said with a big grin.
Sebastian Morrow was an odd duck. He wore orange shorts and a lime-green T-shirt with red tongues all over it. To say his taste was eclectic was a stretch. More like nonexistent. But he was always smiling, always determining, even as people turned their noses up at him.
In a way, he didn’t fit in here much better than me. Somehow, that made him easier to live with. Even when he dragged me to parties.
We crossed the backyard to the keg, where a guy was pumping out beer. Seb approached eagerly, hand out.
“Whoa, hold up,” the dude said. “You look too young. We’re not serving underclassmen.”
“I just got one of those faces,” Seb said. “Baby-faced, you know? I’m a junior.”
“Yeah? Let me see some ID.”
I tugged Seb’s arm. “Come on, man. It’s not too late to catch a movie.”
“I want a drink,” Seb said stubbornly. “Please?”
The guy laughed. “That’s a little sad. Begging? Really?”
A curvy brunette came up beside us, a couple of girls at her side. “Oh, stop being an asshole, Troy. Let them have a drink.”
She curled a hand around my arm, leaning in way too close. “This one’s cute. I might keep him.”
I pulled away. “Don’t touch me.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and Seb winced, knowing the tide was about to turn against us again.
“Fuck off then,” she said. “Cocky little shit.”
“It’s not what you think,” Seb said loudly. “He’s gay, is all!”
Everyone turned to stare. Yeah, fuck this. Every time I went out, it was the same thing. Girls hit on me because they didn’t know I was gay. But the idea of coming out to every freaking person I met was exhausting.
People were way too handsy, especially when drunk at a party. It was annoying as fuck.
No wonder Holden had a meltdown when he was in school. I couldn’t even imagine being here with touch aversion. I didn’t mind casual touches, but proprietary ones by rich girls who thought the world was theirs for the taking? Fuck no.
I started across the lawn. Seb could fend for himself if he wanted to change their minds. I was halfway to the door when the guy working the keg caught up with me, a cup sloshing in his hand.
“Sorry, man. Here.” He pushed the cup into my hand and smiled almost bashfully. “Mandy’s a little pushy, but she was right. You’re cute.” He winked. “Find me later.”
He went back the way he came, leaving Seb staring at me, slack-jawed. “Seriously? Why does everyone hit on you?”
“They don’t,” I said, handing him the cup.
He raised it and took a big gulp. “No one’s giving me beer and asking for me to find them later.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not interested.”
“Why not? He’s a guy.”
I snorted. “Yeah, becuase that’s all it takes, right? I’m gay so any man will do.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Seb said defensively.
I’d come out to him my first night in the dorm. If I was going to live in close quarters, I didn’t want to worry about hiding my sexuality from a bigot. Seb had been cool from the start. But I really didn’t like the way he’d blurted out that I was gay to everyone tonight.
“Don’t ever do that again, man. Don’t ever tell people I’m gay. I decide if I want them to know.”
He grimaced. Either in regret or because the beer was shit. Maybe both. “Sorry, Bailey. I didn’t think it was a secret.”
“It’s not a secret,” I said, swiping the cup from him and taking a gulp. “Just like your weird porn fetish isn’t a secret.”
“What?” he yelped. “Of course that’s a secret. You can’t tell anyone!”
I raised an eyebrow. Seb had a weird affinity for watching animated porn. I’d walked in on it in our first week of rooming together, and we’d both agreed to never speak of it again. It was bad enough that I’d never get that picture out of my head. Seb was so not my type, and seeing him wank at the computer to cartoon fucking was a sight I really would have preferred to live without.
But I needed him to understand how serious I was.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Really. I won’t do that ever again.”
I handed him the beer. “Okay, good. I’ll go get another drink and catch up with you.”
“You’re not leaving?” he asked, an excited smile pulling at his lips.
I shrugged. “A cute guy said I should find him later. Might as well get another beer out of it.”
“Yes!” Seb laughed. “That’s the spirit, man.”
Besides, if we left now, Seb would just be pestering me to come to another party. To give it a chance.
I’d hang out tonight, be a good wingman, and ensure he didn’t end up in any trouble. And then I’d tell him in no uncertain terms that frat parties were a no go.
A different guy was working the keg when I got there, but he handed me a beer without a second glance. I took it and wandered the yard, mostly keeping to myself, until I spotted a group of guys clustered around a Jeep Rambler out on the road.
The hood was up. Some kind of car trouble. My curiosity was piqued.
I crossed the sidewalk. “What’s the problem?”
The crowd of guys parted to reveal a gorgeous Latina girl. “My Jeep won’t start. I’m going to have to call Triple A. My mom is going to be so pissed I came over here!”
“I could look at it for you,” I offered.
“We all looked at it, dipshit,” one of the guys said. “You’re not going to impress her.”
“Yeah, but unlike you, I’m a mechanic.”
That got me a few second looks. Yeah, most of these kids had never had a job outside of a mall before college. They backed away, giving me access to the car.
I leaned over, checking connections. “Battery terminals are corroded. You’re not getting a good connection.”
“Could have told her that,” a guy grumbled behind me.
I pulled off my shirt and wadded it to protect my hands from acidic leakage, then scrubbed at the connections.
A cat-call went up behind me.
“Jesus, this dude. Anything to impress a girl, huh?”
I ignored them and scrubbed at the terminals. I just had to get them clean enough for a connection for now. She’d have to get them properly cleaned later.
I leaned back. “Try now.”
She tried. The car still wouldn’t start. There were laughs and jeers. I pulled off my shoe and tapped the battery terminals, rotating them around the battery post so they could make better contact.
“One more time,” I said.
She turned the key, and the Jeep started up.
“Oh my gosh, it worked!” she called out the window. “Thank you so much.”
I slipped on my shoe and walked around the car, ignoring the frat guys grumbling about beginner’s luck or some stupid shit. “It’ll get you home tonight, but you’ll have to take it to the shop.”
She nodded. “Thanks. My mom would have freaked if she knew I was out here.”
I hesitated by the door. “Better go now, then. No promises it’ll start again later.”
She nodded. “Yeah, thanks again.”
I backed away from the Jeep as she drove off. There was a small crowd watching me. I became aware of the fact I was still shirtless. I tugged my dirty shirt over my head and started back toward the party.
The guy who’d given me a beer was watching me with a smile. “If you wanted my attention, you could have just said so.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that wasn’t why I did it. I was just fixing the car.”
He ran a finger over the grease smear across my lower stomach. “Well, you looked good doing it.”
It had been a while since I’d hooked up with anyone. I tended to get fixated on a crush and no one else would do. I’d always been that way. But I was in a new town. This was a fresh slate.
Maybe I should just let this guy pull me into a dark corner and have some fun.
But even as the thought crossed my mind, a different image overtook it. One of a towering man, broad and strong, with hard features but the softest eyes.
Flynn Donovan was nowhere near here. He wouldn’t be mine, even if he were. There was no reason for me to abstain for his sake.
He saw me like a little brother. No matter how much I flirted. No matter how I’d tried to show him I could be more.
A whole summer working in close quarters and I hadn’t gotten so much as a kiss.
Maybe my brothers had turned me into a foolish romantic like them. Because when the frat boy smiled suggestively and tugged at my shirt, I pushed his hand away.
“Maybe some other time,” I said.
His smile sagged. “Oh.”
“I’ve got to go find my friend.”
He nodded, eyes cooling. “Suit yourself.”
I walked away, wondering how long I’d have to suffer blue balls before my stupid heart would release its grip on a man I couldn’t have.